Ep193. Protect Your Peace While Pursuing Your Goals | Mental Health Awareness Month

Protect Your Peace While Pursuing Your Goals: Mental Health Awareness Month Ep.193

Mental Health Awareness Month is the perfect time to pause and ask yourself a powerful question: How are you really doing?

In Episode 193, Coach SandyB opens up about protecting your mental space, emotional boundaries, grief, and the importance of checking in with yourself before burnout, overwhelm, and emotional exhaustion take over.

This episode explores the reality of emotional contagion and how the energy, fear, anxiety, and emotions of others can quietly impact your mindset, focus, and ability to move forward with intention.

Coach SandyB also shares personal reflections from this season of grief following the loss of her beloved mother, Queen Esther, and how she is learning to honor her journey while continuing to pursue purpose, peace, and progress.

Inside this episode:
• What emotional contagion really is
• How other people’s emotions can affect your mindset
• Why protecting your peace is part of your success strategy
• The importance of emotional boundaries
• How grief, gratitude, and purpose can exist at the same time
• Ways to reset mentally and emotionally
• Questions to ask yourself during difficult seasons
• Why checking in with yourself matters more than checking social media

This episode is your reminder that not every emotion is yours to carry.

Protect your peace. Stay grounded. Move with intention. And continue getting your wins.

Join the Win Collective community for accountability, growth, and support as you move forward with purpose.

https://www.skool.com/the-win-collective-7852/about?ref=8a2ac019ce21401bbb1af27701db8d8f

🎧 Listen now and share this episode with someone who needs the reminder to check in on themselves today. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Episode 193. Welcome, new and old listeners. This is your host, Sandy B, and I invite you to enjoy this episode. It's time for you to check in before you break down. It's Mental Health Awareness Month, and we've got to talk about protecting your mental space. See, everyone is telling you how to feel right now. But have you actually checked in with yourself? Mental Health Awareness Month is not just about awareness, it's about alignment and ownership. This is about protecting your mind and your peace while still getting your wins. And during this season, I have had the opportunity to really be mindful of what I was thinking and what I was doing and spend some time talking with my coach about this. It's so important that we take the time to check in on ourselves. So we're going to talk about it today. Why checking in matters right now in this season? The world is loud. It's just so loud right now. And everyone has an opinion. Opinions are everywhere. Fear-based conversations, emotional contagion is real. So you may be thinking, Sandy B, what is emotional contagion? And I'm so glad you have this question because I have the answer for you. Emotional contagion is the automatic transfer of emotions from one person to another. You can walk into a room feeling good and leave feeling anxious, heavy, or irritated without anything actually happening to you. Have you experienced this before? This is not random. That's emotional contagion. So let's talk about how this actually happens. It works in three quiet steps. You pick up emotional cues, tone the voice, facial expressions, energy in the room, body language. Your brain is constantly scanning people, even when you're not trying to. Your brain mirrors it. This is tied to something called mirror neurons. These neurons make you subconsciously match what you're seeing. Someone's stressed, your body tenses. Someone excited, your energy lifts. Someone's negative, your mindset starts shifting. You start to feed it. Now it's no longer their emotion. It feels like yours. And that's where people lose awareness. So let's talk about a real life example I experienced. I am working on a special project, and there's a lot of workplace panic that spreads suddenly. Everyone feels unstable. One negative conversation throws off your whole day. Social media has you feeling behind, anxious, or frustrated. A grieving or emotional conversation shifts your entire mood. Have you experienced this? Nothing's changed in your reality, but your emotional state did. And you got to understand why this matters. If you don't recognize emotional contagion, you'll carry emotions that aren't yours. You'll lose focus on your goals and you'll react instead of move with intention. You'll feel drained without understanding why. Have you experienced that lately? That's how progress slows down without you realizing it. And it's so important that we are able to protect ourselves from these things. And this is where your discipline comes in. You have to take the time to pause and identify and ask yourself: is this how I truly feel, or did I pick this up? I've had to do this quite a few times these last couple of months. You have to be able to separate empathy from absorption. You can understand someone's feelings, right? But you can do so without taking them on as your own. And this is a skill that you have to be able to identify and work towards. And you got to be able to control your environment. You have to limit negative conversations. And you have to be mindful of what you're consuming. Choose who you're who has access to your energy. And this is something I've been actively working on with my coach to understand as I go through this period of grief with the loss of my mother, how am I showing up and how, and who am I giving my access to and my energy to during this time? Your passion should already be paying you. If you're tired of watching the months roll by without the progress, you know you're capable of it's time to make a move. The win collective is where you stop thinking about your goals and start executing daily guidance, real accountability, and a community that refuses to let you play small. This is where ideas turn into income and consistency becomes your new normal. If you want this year to look different, you can't keep doing the same things. Join the win collective today and start monetizing your passion right now. Don't wait. Your next win won't happen without you. So if you're feeling the pull to reignite your passion and finally monetize what you love, you're not alone, my friends. That's exactly why I built the win collective on school. It's my private community where you will take action and we'll do it together. It's free to join and it's where the real connection and accountability happens. Join today, you want to re-anchor yourself. This comes through prayer, meditation, and quiet reflection. It's important to get back to your assignment for the day. Emotional contagion isn't weakness, it's human. But staying aware of it, that's discipline. You don't have to carry every emotion in the room to be compassionate. And as a goal getter, you can't afford to let other people's energy pull you off course. And that's something I can totally relate with as I move through this period that I'm in. See, I know that in order for me to continue to achieve the things I want, I've got to be clear about how I'm feeling and how I'm choosing to show up and remind myself that you can't stay focused if your emotions are being controlled by other people. So who's controlling your emotions? It's something to think about. So I want to share a little bit with you what I've been experiencing because it's been a season of transformation, in my opinion, in transition personally, what I've been experiencing. See, my loved one, my dear mama, Queen Esther, passed away in January. And because of the storms that were going on up north in January, we decided to move her celebration of life until April. And so, in doing so, it was great because it allowed time to really process what was happening. And then obviously, we didn't have to deal with snow. We had a beautiful day, a beautiful celebration of life. And so it all worked out the way it needed to. But in this time, in this space, I was able to define for myself what moving forward looked like. And I'm still doing that because truthfully, I miss my mom so much. We talked often. So every time something occurs, I want to share it. I pick up the phone to call her multiple times a day, but I just have to choose to speak with her in a different way instead of picking up the phone. So just understanding how that works now in my life has been a challenge for me. And understanding that I can have a duality of emotions. I can feel grief and also grateful. I can feel loss, but then also responsibility. See, I still have a job to do and I choose to move forward with intention, however, that looks like in this season. And I'm anchoring myself in this statement that reminds me that I can honor her and continue to do the work that she was so proud of me, that she was so encouraging, my best cheerleader. And so by me showing up and doing the things that are important to me, I'm honoring her because this is what she would want me to do, to continue to do my work. And in doing that, I'm finding joy in thinking about all the things I'm able to do and able to accomplish. So that's just how I am choosing to cope in this season because it's so important that we set boundaries for ourselves. And so I want to talk to you about what emotional boundaries look like and why they're so important. You can choose to be caught up with what's going on in the world, the negativity that seems to be everywhere. People are projecting fear and uncertainty with all the things that are going on right now. How are you going to choose to stay focused regardless? Because that's the decision that you have to make in this season. And then also, you don't have to participate in every emotional environment you're invited into, whether it's turning off the news, whether it's not engaging in a conversation, a negative conversation at work, whether it's not engaging in a conversation on social media that's negative, you have to make the choice. I can tell you, I was speaking to a friend of my mom's, and she had expressed sadness, and her feelings are valid. She lost a very close friend, but I chose to not absorb that sadness. And I had to remind myself that empathy does not require emotional adoption. This is where people get stuck. They can fuse support with emotional surrender. It's up to you to choose and decide that you can control your emotions. You can take some time to think about why you may be feeling a certain way, and you can set those boundaries for yourself so you're not engaging in absorbing the negativity that may be around you. You can lose alignment without realizing it. You start feeling things that aren't even yours. You adapt fear, doubt, anxiety from other people. You begin questioning your direction because you have all this noise around you and you're taking it as if it's yours. And a lot of times it's not. It's just the things around you. So you have to build those boundaries where you protect your emotions. I want you to decide that you will not allow other people's emotions, other people's feelings to affect how you are choosing to move forward. You are not allowing for doubt and anxiety from other people to cloud you and to make you feel as if you can't move on. You have to know that that's how procrastination creeps up and that's how focus gets broken. And right now, you have too much to achieve, too much to be excited about for procrastination to keep you stuck. If you don't guard your mind, someone else will feel it. So it's up to you to be mindful. And let's talk about how you can reset, how to check in with yourself, because that's a practice that is going to be helpful with your mental health as you think about what you have going on. I want to start with you have to pause and ask yourself, what am I actually feeling? Why am I feeling this? Is this mine or did I absorb this? Answering this question for you will help you start understanding what's going on. Remember, you have to check in on yourself. And then you have to get grounded. I choose prayer and meditation, quiet time, no noise, no opinions to ground myself. I love being in nature. I spent quite a lot of time talking with my mom as I would do my walks daily. And so getting outside and walking and talking to her, hearing the birds chirping as spring is just filling the air with such fragrance and such beautiful music from the birds chirping and just life all around. It brings me so much joy to be outside in nature and remember her and pray and meditate and ask her for her protection. You also want to re-anchor to your assignment. What do you need to do today? What matters to you right now? Taking the time to ask these questions for yourself. What really matters to you? What's important to you? When I take the time to do that and allow myself to be grounded and centered in what I truly want, this helps re-anchor me to what's important, what I truly want to achieve, what is the goal that I'm moving towards? These are all things that are important. And I want you to take some time to audit your environment. Who are you listening to in this season? Who is influencing your mindset? Are they helping you grow or draining you? And this is something that I had to be aware of as, you know, I'm experiencing all these different things, planning. I was planning for my mom's celebration of life. And there were a lot of people coming for different reasons, people talking to me, friends and family I haven't spoken to in a while. And I found myself a bit overwhelmed, answering calls, answering questions, people wanting to talk, share how they were feeling. And it got to be overwhelming. So I had to decide what I would allow myself to take in, how I would communicate, and what I needed, because I wouldn't be any help to anyone else if I'm not taking care of myself and allowing the time for me to grieve. And this is something that you know you just can't handle overnight. And so it was very important for me to understand who was listening to. If I needed to not talk to people, not engage for some time, that's what I needed to do. And I was okay with doing it because I know my mental health is important. So you've got to take some stock, take some inventory, who is helping you grow and who is draining you. Because a lot of times you may be drained by other people and what they're experiencing. And so that's why it's important to have people around you that you know you can trust, that you can talk to, that you feel safe with, the people that will help you grow. And I'm so grateful because I have so many people like that in my life that I can call on, that I can talk to, that I can pick up the phone and say, I'm not doing so well today. And they will sit there and listen, not drain me, but help me, but encourage me. And so this is something that's very important that you must do in order to audit your environment. Think about who are you listening to in this season and who is influencing your mindset. If that means you have to call and talk to your trusted advisor, talk to your therapist, talk to your counselor, just make sure it's a safe place where you know you will get fed in your time. And then I want to talk about mental discipline as a goalgetter, because you know, as goalgetters, we have to make sure we practice this. And this is not a one-time thing that we do. It's something that we have to keep at the forefront of our mind as we experience so many different things in life. So this is a practice. It's not a one-time decision that you make to make sure you check in on yourself. And as high performers, we have to protect our mental space. Goal getters are busy achieving things, looking to move forward, looking for new opportunities to learn and grow. So you must protect your space. You're not, you can't build momentum while carrying everyone else's emotions. And this is why you must be able to check in on yourself and realize, check in on your environment. Who are you listening to? Who is encouraging you? Who is straining you or hindering your progress? You cannot build momentum while carrying everyone else's emotion. In this season, I've decided that my peace is part of my strategy. And so I invite you to do the same. You must be intentional about your peace. It doesn't matter what other people say, they're gonna talk and say what they're gonna say regardless. But for you, in order for you to continue to move forward and to find that inner strength to achieve the things you desire, your peace must be part of your strategy. You've got to reframe this season. This season isn't just heavy, it's also clarifying, it's strengthening, it's positioning you to move differently. And I can tell you, I feel encouraged, I feel excited. I know that this grief that I have is just a whole bunch of love bottled up inside of me. And so I'm learning how to each day honor that love, honor the amazing woman that my mom was, and honor that love that we have for each other. And know that just because I can't physically see her, I can continue to talk to her, and she is my angel watching over me. And so, in knowing that I'm stronger now in this season, in knowing that I am positioned for a time like this, I'm excited for the future because I know that I'm equipped to achieve the things that I desire to accomplish and understanding that I'm moving forward with intention and I'm honoring my journey. Today, I want you to check in with yourself. Not your timeline, not your group, not the group chat, not the news, you check in with you. I want you to ask yourself, what am I feeling? What actually matters to me right now? You can choose to protect your peace, you can choose to stay focused, and you can choose to continue the work that you've started. So if you're ready to be in a place and a space where you can think clearly, stay accountable, and move forward without the noise, I want you to join me inside the win collective on school. See, this is a safe space. This is a space where growth occurs. This is a space where action happens, and this is a space where you can choose to check your mind before you check your goals. Not every emotion is yours to carry, my friend. So you want to protect your peace and get your wins every 90 days. I'm Coach Sandy B, and I want you to know that you can choose to show up and be the person you are created to be, even in the midst of so many things going on, whether you're experiencing grief, whether you're experiencing a job loss, whether you're experiencing a divorce, whatever you may be experiencing in this moment, you can choose to protect your peace and get your wins. Wow. That was a powerful conversation. I hope you're feeling inspired and ready to take action toward your 90-day wins. If today's episode gave you a new perspective or an extra push to go after your goals, I want to hear from you. Let's keep the conversation going. Share this episode on your socials and tag me at 90 day wins. I'd love to know your biggest takeaways. And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, Do me a favor. Leave a five-star review and a comment. Your support helps more gold getters like you find this podcast and stay motivated on their journey. Remember, every day is a chance to win. Let's make it count. See you next time on the 90 Day Wins podcast.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Every 90 days, I'm just counting my wins. I know I'm good, but I'm better with them. And I keep a lot of herbal in my childhood drip in the wind. I feel goosebumps under my skin. I'm feeling better within. I'm feeling better when I'm getting the wins. I feelin' fresher than a new set of twins. Can't let the devil get in. I'm in the yard with the fuzz in my lens. I'm tryna pull up with the fuzz in the bands. With a couple of friends. We on our level and we're getting the wins. We run the laps and I ain't skin.