199. See the Humanity: Hope, Discernment, and the Courage to Keep Showing Up

 See the Humanity: Hope, Discernment, and the Courage to Keep Showing Up Ep.199

This summer has reminded us that joy and grief can exist at the same time. In Episode 199, Coach SandyB reflects on the tragic death of Nolan Wells, the importance of discernment in our relationships, and why we must never stop seeing the humanity in others. 

She also shares how the FIFA World Cup and the inspiring story of Lamine Yamal remind us that hope is still alive, the future is being built today, and goal getters must continue showing up with purpose. 

Even in difficult times, we can protect our peace, choose kindness, and keep moving toward the life we're called to build. 

Transcript

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Episode 199 of the 90 Day Wins podcast. This is your host, Coach Sandy B, and we're here with another exciting episode. We can acknowledge the pain and uncertainty around us without surrendering our hope. Goalgetters do not ignore difficult realities. We feel, we reflect, we protect ourselves, and still find the courage to show up for the future we believe is possible. I want you to think about where you are right now in your life, what you're dealing with, what you're going through, and be encouraged to know that you can choose to still believe in the possibilities of your goals being achieved. This year, like no other, life feels really heavy. There's so much going on, so many things in the news, and so many opinions being shared. And I'd like to add a thought to one of the stories that's occurring right now. There is a young man named Nolan Wells who was tragically killed. We're not quite sure of the details right now, and that's not my job to even give any thoughts on it because it's an ongoing investigation and it just seems to be a hot topic for lots of people to talk about. One of the things that I heard in this story that I just want to share my thought about is people saying that we, as black people, aren't safe with white friends. And from what we've seen from the news and just all these different real life scenarios of people who have gone out with their white friends and they have died tragically. Now is a time where we can share our stories and what we've learned. I have always been for years growing up as a young person. We moved to Pennsylvania. And coming from Brooklyn, New York, yeah, I was one of a few black girls and black children in the community that I was a part of when my mom moved to Pennsylvania. I have a different worldview of friends, no matter what color they are. And hearing so many people stating that we have to keep our children safe and keep them away from white friends, it gives a message that we are not safe. But I think the conversation should be had of discernment and human decency and respect for others. Obviously, if you go anywhere with a friend, you should have a comfort to know that you would come back home, no matter what race that friend is. And I'd like to share with you there was a case a couple years ago here in Georgia where a lady went to a sleepover. So this is an adult. She went to a sleepover with other friends and she didn't make it back home. She was killed. There's so much mystery around it, and justice was not served for her. And I think that it's important for everyone to take a step back and to learn from these situations because there is definitely something to be learned. And I will share with you a couple of years ago, one of my friends who just happens to be white invited me to a girls' weekend getaway. And my initial thought was, yes, of course, I'd love to go. I'm all about spending time, having fun with girlfriends, but I had to quickly think about who was going to be there. And what I understood was my friend was going to be there, but I didn't know any of the other ladies that were going to be there. And I had to decide for myself if I was comfortable with that. And this was right after the case that I'm telling you about, the lady's name is Tamala Horsburn. And so, in that situation being very fresh in my mind, and it just so happened to be here in Georgia, I chose that it wasn't best for me to go on this trip. So you could understand my friend who invited me, who I knew for years, who we were co-workers in multiple companies here in Atlanta. You can imagine her frustration in me not wanting to come on this trip. But I explained to her the situation that happened here in Georgia. And I explained to her my concerns, and I explained to her that I wouldn't have fun because I would have that thought in the back of my mind. And it had nothing to do with her. I believed that she would take care of me. And she even made it a point to tell me that she would make sure that nothing would happen to me. And I truly believe her. But the thing is, I didn't know the other ladies. And I didn't want to take the time to even have a conversation about me feeling uncomfortable to be with them because they were already a group of women coming together. And so they obviously had a comfort level with each other. I think we just have to decide and have a level of discernment. We can't control everything. These young people, they are all claiming that they were great friends with this young man, Nolan Wells, but no one took the time to check on him to make sure he's good. So we, I think, need to train our ourselves as well as our children about really looking at the character of people that we are associating with and having that discernment for ourselves. If we are not sure if we're feeling uncomfortable, we can address it. We can choose to not go, not to be around. But I think it's a bigger question in understanding that we can choose to show kindness to each other and be decent humans. Let's create and raise decent humans. So these situations will be handled because, as everyone is saying, if you are my friend and you go out with me, the expectation is that you would come back home with me safely. The conversation needs to be had about people being decent and also understanding that everyone is not your friend. Your passion should already be paying you. If you're tired of watching the months roll by without the progress, you know you're capable of it's time to make a move. The win collective is where you stop thinking about your goals and start executing daily guidance, real accountability, and a community that refuses to let you play small. This is where ideas turn into income and consistency becomes your new normal. If you want this year to look different, you can't keep doing the same things. Join the win collective today and start monetizing your passion right now. Don't wait. Your next win won't happen without you. So if you're feeling the pull to reignite your passion and finally monetize what you love, you're not alone, my friends. That's exactly why I built the Win Collective on School. It's my private community where you will take action and we'll do it together. It's free to join and it's where the real connection and accountability happens. Join today. Let's talk about joy and let's talk about excitement because this summer has been filled with some exciting times. Have you seen any of the World Cup games? It has just ended, and we had the pleasure of attending some festivities here in Atlanta, it being one of the World Cup cities here in the North America region that we're hosting events. And let me tell you, there's so many exciting stories that are coming out of the World Cup. But for me, one of the ones that I've been enjoying is Lamine Yamal, has he represents youth and possibility, diversity and the future. If you've not seen this young man at just 19 years old, he became the first teenager to appear in both a European championship and the final and a World Cup final. So his journey is very inspiring, and it became a part of a larger story about younger people and multicultural generation, and it's all taking place on the world stage. And this has been such an exciting sign. And his story really reminds us that the future is already developing in front of our eyes. And as goal getters, we can be excited and see and think about how we are showing up and preparing right now for the future that we are looking to create for ourselves. It's an exciting time, and we can choose to look at this story and look at this example of perseverance and growth with this young man and be encouraged because sometimes hope doesn't arrive as a speech. Sometimes it comes like a young person stepping onto the world's biggest stage and refusing to strike. If you've seen this young man play, if you've heard some of his interviews, the way he so loves his family and loves this beautiful game, you would be encouraged. And then let's not talk about how his young brother has just captured all of our hearts to see this beautiful love story, to know his mom worked so hard, his dad worked so hard. His name was created by neighbors that helped them when he was being brought into this world. So it's such a story of hope and resilience, and it's a reminder to us all that we can believe, we can achieve, and we can show up and do the work. The story of this young man and what he's doing to just change the face of before World Cup and just bring people united in joy about seeing these wins. It's something to be encouraged by and celebrated by and be encouraged that these young people are here and they're ready to make a difference, and they're doing so positively. You know, we can choose to still have hope during difficult times. This summer has brought some celebration and also grief. The one story that makes us question how people treat and protect one another, another allows us to witness history, talent, unity, and possibility. Both can exist at the same time. We do not have to pretend everything is okay. Believe things can become better, though. We can choose to do that. Goal getters are human. We become discouraged, we grieve, we question people's systems and our circumstances. We do not allow the darkness around us to convince us that our work, dreams, voice, or lives are no longer important. We have to show up and keep moving, but we're not ignoring the pain. We're not ignoring the suffering, we're not ignoring the things that literally bring us to our knees. We are using to let pain make every decision for us. And this is something that we must understand that is a part of life, right? We will go through challenges, we will go through obstacles, we will go through things that will have us rethinking our choices. But we can refuse to let that pain and that frustration make the choices for us, make the decisions for us. These difficult times are calling us to believe in something higher. But we refuse to believe that cruelty, division, and despair are the only stories being written because we know that is not the case. There are still people showing up with kindness, there are still families raising courageous young people. There are still communities choosing to care and show up for each other. There are still goal getters waking up, doing the work, and creating something better. We can grieve what has been lost and still have hope for what is possible. I need you to know that you can see the humanity in others. You can protect the humanity within yourself. Then you can get up and continue working towards the goals that you desire to achieve. It's never too late to decide that you can do your part to be the change. You can do your part to achieve the things you desire in this world. There is time for you to take action every 90 days. But it starts with you having the hope, having the courage to believe that you can move forward in the midst of trials and obstacles and challenges. You can choose to show kindness. You can choose to see the humanity and everyone you meet. You can show up and you can win. And I believe in you, goalgetter. So today, you decide that even in the midst of the darkness of the world, you're showing up with intention. You're believing in yourself and you're getting your wins. And I have tools to help you do just that. As we move forward throughout this year, this quarter is one of execution. We're showing up and we're being intentional about getting our wins. And we're building our win community. This is our collective of people that are coming together on school to grow and to execute our plans, to be the light in this world that seems so dark, showing up together as goal getters and building. So come join us at the Win Collective on School. That's where this 90-day wins community is building with intention to do the work so we can see the progress. So we can choose to say we are part of the solution. We are building community within our world and we're growing and we're doing it together. So come join us in the Win Collective. I'm Coach Sandy B, and every 90 days we can show up and do the work to get our wins. We are on the road to 200 episodes. Next episode, episode 200. I am excited for you to celebrate with us because we are going places, we're moving with intention, and you are invited to come get your wins with us every 90 days. Let's do it.